Does Hypnobirthing work?

First, if you don’t know what hypnobirthing is, please click here to read my post about the classes I attended.

I always wanted a natural birth as I don’t enjoy the feeling of not being in control of my body. I don’t like being drunk and I imagine the affect of the drugs would scare me instead of relax me. In addition, there are side affects for mother and baby. For me, they felt like a last resort choice.

When I had my first baby, hypnobirthing was a new idea and costs quite a bit for a private course. My means meant I attended the traditional antenatal class which covered pain relief and caring for your baby. Second time around, the government have found the benefits of hypnobirthing makes it worth offering it for free. This time I was able to go for the cost of a book and free downloadable tracks.

I feel it did work. I only have my personal experience to compare it to. Here are my birthing stories.

First labour (without hypnobirthing)

On Wednesday, 12 November, I was tired as I’d not had my nap so we went to bed early at 10pm. Almost as soon as I got in bed, my back started to ache & I started needing the loo constantly. At the time I didn’t realise I was in labour.

I decided to sleep on the sofa so I wouldn’t disturb my husband who had work in the morning. After a few hours, I asked to switch places as I couldn’t get comfortable on the sofa – my husband at this point suspected I might be in labour as I crawled into the bedroom like the girl from The Ring.

The discomfort plagued me all night and by 5am I was tired & desperate for something to knock me out so I could sleep. I didn’t think I was in labour as I was still able to talk normally. We called the hospital and I explained the pain and they asked me to come in.

When we got there, the midwife confirmed I was 8cm dilated (almost 9cm). They were confident the baby would arrive soon, I got in the birthing pool and waited but nothing much happened.

I requested Pethidine in the hope I might be able to kip for a bit but I as warned u couldn’t be in the water for that. Instead I tried gas and air but it made me feel dizzy.

I got out for another internal exam. I didn’t like the qualified midwife but thought the Trainee was awesome. The trainee midwife discovered that my cervix has an extra bit of skin preventing me getting to 10cm. I was warned labour could take longer, be harder and painful but the trainee was willing to support me however I wanted. I decided to have the pethidine. The qualified midwife told me most people get a c-section. I carried on trying to deliver my baby myself. The qualified midwife insisted I be put in stirrups so she could keep an eye on my cervix. It made it harder to push.

Then suddenly, I felt like I was on fire down there and was terrified all my holes would become one. The trainee assured me she could see him and with another push he’d be out enough for her to use the forceps. I pushed. She turned to get the forceps but I pushed again and he was out.

I delivered my son at 1:15pm on 13 Nov. I did have a small tear but didn’t need stitches. Labour recorded as 5h.

Second labour (with hypnobirthing)

On Sun, 5 Aug, at 7pm, I kept needing the loo and went for a poo, three times in an hour. This was an early labour sign with my first baby so I asked my hubby to take our son to bed incase my surges (contractions) started.At 8pm he checked how I was and I was chilling watching ‘Orange is the New Black’ but told him to ring his mum and let her know tonight might be the night (she would be having our son).

By 9pm, I was getting regular surges so I downloaded an app to time them. They were every 3 minutes and lasting 40 seconds – after three, the app told me to go to hospital but I decided to watch another episode.

By 10pm, my surges were every 2 minutes and lasting 40 seconds still. I agreed to call the hospital (the app was bleeping at me to go after every surge now). The hospital agreed I ought to come in and be checked.

I then took my time checking my bag and my son’s bag – you can’t really move fast when you need to stop and breathe every 2 mins and it interferes with your train of thought. We dropped my son off at his nana and arrived at the hospital about 11:30pm.

By midnight, I had my checks and hospital agreed I could stay. I was 4cm dilated but as my son was a quick first birth (at 5h) they thought it best to keep me in. We ran the bath and prepared the room. The music wouldn’t play on my kindle but the midwife got us a CD that had relaxing music. I got in the bath which soothed my back and started breathing through my surges.

My hubby noticed I was getting tired and suggested I lay on the bed. The midwife felt this would be a get time to do a quick internal exam. It was then she noticed I have a ‘flexi-cervix’. I was still 4cm, but every time I surged, I was about 9-10cm. She could see my water bulging and was convinced she could arrive any minute. My hubby massaged my back while I rested.

I decided to get back in the water as the warmth helped. I got back in. The surges were now stronger so my husband held a pillow at the side of the bath for me to conserve my energy between them. I felt the need to start pushing and used the J-breath to move the baby down.

My hubby suggested I try lying down as I was tired. I went to stand but a surge came, I quickly dipped back down in the water. My waters broke and I could feel the fire sensation and knew her head was in my cervix. I quickly did another long J-breath and my husband lifted her out the water.

I delivered my daughter on Mon, 6 Aug at 4:44am. I didn’t tear and didn’t need stitches. Labour recorded as 2.5h.

Did it work?

For me, it did work – my labour was much quicker and less painful. I didn’t use all the techniques taught but the breathing helped me push her out and stay calm and conserve my energy. It’s certainly worth checking out if you would like to deliver your baby naturally and without drugs.

However, there is no shame in taking whatever pain relief that is offered. The goal is to deliver a healthy baby and you can use whatever tools are available to help you achieve that. For me, those tools were breathing, water, aromatherapy, music and my husband but everyone is different.

What do you think?

Let me know if you did hypnobirthing and if it was beneficial to you? I’d love to read your labour stories too.

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3 Things to do, FOR YOU, before baby is due

There are loads of things you need to do before your baby arrives but here I list the top three things to do, for you.

Pamper day

There are lots of lovely treatment bundles offered for pregnant women. However, you can choose individual treatments and make your own bundle.

I choose to get a manicure as I didn’t want my nails to ruin my newborn’s pictures. I got a pedicure as I struggle to reach my feet now and a foot massage really helps bring down the swelling. I got a lash lift & tint so I don’t need to worry about mascara when going makeup free.

I like treatments that make my life easier. Although, now she is late I may need to get my nails redone.

NB: You may need to remove nail polish at hospital if you need certain procedures, for example a c-section.

Making Memories

I knew as I get more pregnant I would find it harder to do things but I still wanted to make memories with my son. We had a lovely day out with friends at Colchester zoo. It was hard walking around but the smile on his face made it worthwhile.

Towards the end of my pregnancy I’ve planned activities for my son to go out with his grandparents. He had a week crash course in swimming with his Grandma, a Festival day with his granddad and next week he’s out with his nanny. This has enabled him to have fun and for me to rest a little. I’m so grateful for the supportive network I have around me.

When he went to the festival, my husband and I got to have a lovely childfree meal together. We also did some chores I was struggling to get done at home and although the house isn’t looking spotless, it does look so much better.

Some couples go on a baby moon (last holiday as a couple before baby arrived). I would like to have done this with my husband but we needed to use our time off work to cover the absence of childcare during school holidays and didn’t have enough days left for anything else. However, we were going to Centre Parcs when I found out I was pregnant so you could say we had a family moon (last holiday as a family before adding another child).

https://instagram.com/p/BcDECgVhCYB/

Bump pics

I have really struggled with this. Often I am so busy with Noah I forget about myself. I also feel huge, not well and tired which make me not in the mood to have my photo taken.

We tried a family day out at the beach and took pictures but my belly popped out in an unsightly way that made me look like Onslow from Keeping Up Appearances.

Fortunately, I finally got some pictures when I hit the 40 weeks milestone by simply taking some pics at home.

If you can afford a professional shoot then go for it. I did with my first and love the photos taken but the hidden costs made it way more expensive than I anticipated which is why I didn’t go for it this time. Click here for my tips on booking a shoot.

I hope you found my list useful. I’d love to hear what you did, for you, before baby arrived.

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What’s in my maternity hospital bag?

With my first I left packing my bag until the day I went into labour and although I’ve tried to be more organised this time, it’s still not fully packed.

My bag is an overnight bag using an old small suitcase, the sort you can take on a cheap flight as carry on luggage. I’m not planning on staying in longer unless there is a complication. If that happens, my hubby can bring me more stuff.

For labour

Hypnobirthing Parents’ Workbook: RRP £10.00

We bought this book as part of the free antenatal course delivered by our local midwives.  Click here to read my article about hypnobirthing.

Neom: Aromatherapy mist – RRP £8.00

I wasn’t sure which scent to buy so got one of each to try. Most aromatherapy oils seem to be a pippet liquid oil or roller ball pulse point. I liked the idea of a mist as I can spritz the air or some fabric. I also got their mini hand creams to try.

Kindle fire: It was a gift but google says about £50.00

As my hubby has amazon prime we were able to download the music used during our hypnobirth course for free. It will also double up as entertainment as I can read, watch movies, play games and browse the internet.

Snacks: Various

Currently, these are my emergency snacks from my locker at work – I brought them home on my last day. I’m planning on ordering a graze box as I got free vouchers in my bounty packs. I really fancied JOM Candy but it’s not easy to buy.

Joseph Joseph: water bottle – £9.00 but I think I got mine half price in a sale.

The bottle never leaks and I like the clicks feature. Keeping hydrated during labour is very important.

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Scarf:  Bought years ago by a friend years ago when popular as sarong and shawls.  These can be used during labour to do the Rebozo techniques.

Stay Cool Ice Towel:  Whilst shopping for a fan I saw this and it sounds amazing.  You just add water and it stays cool for hours.  It is used by sporty people but I’m going to use it in labour.  It is currently on order as I had to wait until pay day but I’m hoping it will arrive in time.

Travel brush & hair bands: When it gets hot, it is useful to tie my hair back. Also, handy to make myself look presentable when I get cleaned up afterwards.

For baby

M&Co: Seven piece start set – RRP £18.00

The trickiest thing is guessing what size your baby will be. With my first I had tiny baby and newborn clothes. He was 8 pounds 12 ounces and fit in newborn clothes for a week.

This time, all I’ve packed is a set from M&Co in size newborn. This set is great value for money and all you need. It consists of a vest, top, trousers, sleepsuit, two bibs and a hat.

Kit & Kin: Size 1, panda, pack of 20 – RRP £4.00

I got these eco nappies from Boots so I could collect my club card points. I’ve got a few different nappies but these are hands down the cutest.

Organyc: Cotton wool pads – RRP £2.48

Newborn skin is so sensitive and you should use only water to clean their bums for as long as possible. You’ll get told to use cotton wool balls but they can get stuck to sticky poo – the first baby poo is like black tar. I found the pads much better.

Naty: Sensitive wipes (unscented) – RRP £2.95

I plan to use cotton wool and water to clean her bum but packed these just in case things get messy. They are eco friendly and only use safe ingredients. I got them in an ambassador deal (click here to learn more).

The Little Art Collection: Poppy Muslim – RRP £12.50

Mopping up baby sick is one of the unglamorous tasks of being a mum but this beautiful muslin makes it so much better. It is super soft and I plan use it for swaddling, as a blanket or feeding cover up. It’s too pretty for sick (except if the bibs run out).

Hipp Organic: Combiotic first infant milk (6x 90ml booties with teats) – RRP £8.00

I’m planning to breast feed again but got these incase I can’t. If I’m going to give my baby formula I want chemical free and as natural as possible. In addition, these pre-made bottles are sterilised and ready when you are. With Noah, I kept these in my changing bag for emergencies like if a creepy man kept staring – thankfully it never happened. It did come in useful when I left him with my mum and a leaky bottle of expressed milk. The lid wasn’t on tight and my milk was lost, luckily my mum was able to use one of these.

For me

Happy Mama: Breast feeding nightdress – RRP £11.62

There was also a matching robe but I remember how hot the ward was in November, so I expect it will be hotter than hell in August. The less layers the better.

Cottons: Maternity pads with wings – RRP £3.95

Buying sanitary products is never exciting but I got mine from My Pure. This online store knocks £5 off of you buy five products (encourages you to stock up). In addition, they have a selection of free gifts if you spend £30 in one transaction. I got a Madara face peel mask (RRP £24) and the next time I chose the PHB Ethical Beauty pressed eye shadow (RRP £9.99). It certainly made me more excited to get my order.

Breast pad:

  • Lansinoh – free samples from bounty
  • Little lamb – £11.25 washable pads
  • Theraline Mamma Pads – £9 reusable invisible pressure pads (sticks to skin and prevents leaks whilst sleeping)

Last time, I found the washable pads brilliant as they were so absorbent and saved me money or having to keep ordering pads. The only issue I had was leaking in the night, so, I’m hoping Theraline will be the answer to that little problem.

Book: Who runs the world – RRP £7.99

I bought this at FBF after the author talk. It’s set in the future and about a world where a virus has almost wiped all men out so most women have never seen one.  Click here to read my post about this book.

Note pad with pen: Various/Gifts

I don’t think I’m allowed to charge my kindle or phone at hospital (except for the purpose of hypnobirthing), plus there may be no WiFi! So, I will take some offline resources to enjoy.

Disaster Designs: Boho Make-up bag – £24.95

I actually don’t own a make up bag as I rarely take makeup out with me. This was a treat to myself and very pretty. I don’t intend to wear much makeup whilst in hospital, so all I have packed is:

  • Vapour: Concealer
  • Lue by Jean Seo: Blemish treatment
  • RMS: Signature set – Mod collections (contains master mixer, living luminizer, smile lip2cheek, spell lip2cheek and cococa lip/skin balm)
  • Pacifica: BB cream
  • Axiology: lipstick (shade The Goodness)

I recently got a lash lift & tint so don’t need mascara.

Disaster Designs: Boho Wash bag – £29.95

Whilst treating myself to the makeup bag, I had to get the matching wash bag which is so spacious. Inside, I will pack:

  • Bloomtown: Roller ball perfume
  • Salt of the Earth: Natural deodorant
  • Lucky Cloud: Balm Cleanser
  • Bespoke Aroma: Facial Mist (Toner)
  • Green People: Moisturiser & face oil
  • Concious Skincare: Shampoo & Conditioner
  • Pacifica: Body wash
  • Isla: Body oil
  • A’Kin: Dry shampoo
  • Pacifica: Deodorant wipes
  • Tooth brush & tooth paste

I’ve been collecting sample/travel sizes from my subscription boxes to save space in my bag. I also hope I won’t need to use the dry shampoo or deodorant wipes but they are just incase I need to freshen up and can’t wait to use the facilities (festival style).

Coming home outfit: I’ve packed a black nursing vest that doesn’t need a bra and a black floral maxi skirt with a stretchy waist band. I’ve packed three pairs of big comfy knickers.

My hubby can bring more if I stay longer but I’m so big now that most my maternity clothes are limited and in constant use. If I stay in, he’ll just bring me whatever’s clean (and may have to do laundry).

Coming home

Car seat: This time we bought a travel system and got the MeeGo Milano. The car seat is part of the package.

Baby hat: As it is August, I won’t be dressing her in a coat but she does need a hat (hospital rule) to be allowed to leave. As there’s one in the M&Co set, we’re sorted.

What have you packed?

Did you pack any essentials that I’ve missed? How late did you leave packing your bag?

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Hypnobirthing – what is it?

For the past two weeks my husband and I have been attending Hypnobirthing classes.

Last time, we attended a traditonal antenatal and I didn’t feel I got much more out of it than what I had already read. At the time hynobirthing was a private course costing about £300 (from memory). We couldn’t afford that.

This time, the NHS are offering it for free so I jumped on it. My husband wasnt’t sure he wanted to go as it all sounds a bit hippy to him. My midwife said it is for me and my birthing partner so he has to attend.

We were required to buy the book for £10, download the music and bring a birthing (gym) ball.

Our course was split over two days and was delivered by a local community midwife that has been in the profession for years. She covers shifts at our local hospital, so was very famillar with the wards we would be using.

Day 1

We started with an introduction to hypnobirth to help us understand what the course will cover and manage our expectations.

We then did some exercises to understand the power of the mind and the use of language to influence our feelings. On a white board we came up with positive language for labour to replace negative words:

We then were taught surge breathing and how to break the Stress Tension Pain cycle. This lead to understanding the hormones are bodies produce in response to situations and those that help labour and those that are counter productive.

After lunch, we covered the different phases of labour and what to do to help our body be most effective at each stage.

We then learnt another breathing technique called ’J’ breathing which helps to move the baby down and out.

We watched some videos of women ’breathing’ their babies out and making it look very easy. I got very emotional as it brought back the feeling when my son was first placed in my arms.

We ended by covering the benefits of delayed cord clamping which is when you wait until the pulsating stops – it is usually only takes a few extra minutes. We covered the different methods of delivering the placenta and told why the vitamin K injection is important.

Day 2

We covered how gravity is our friend. It is very important to keep moving in labour and stay upright as this helps move the baby down. We were shown why a bed birth is not the optimum method.

To use gravity, use:

  • A floor mat
  • A bean bag
  • A birth ball
  • A birthing stool
  • Rebozo (a scarf)

We we’re shown some good positions and how to use a scarf to move the baby. The techniques had names like ’shaking the apples’.

We then discussed the best position for baby. You want them head down, at the front (anterior) and on the left. The midwife used a skeleton diaphragm and doll to show us why. We were told babies move clockwise. Then she showed us some techniques to move baby into this optimum position.

We then did more breathing exercises and relaxation on mats to scripts read by our partners. Our partners we’re taught how to calm us if we are getting stressed and signs to look for. They were shown some massage techniques to help and we covered the power of touch.

We watched a video showing a supportive birthing partner to see the impact they have to improving the experience.

The midwife covered the other resources available to us at the hospital including other pain relief methods. She encouraged us that they are there if we need it and not to rule something out or be disappointed if our plans change.

We discussed resources to improve our environment and increase our oxytocin.

She told us about golden hour and the benefits of it. This when the baby has just been born and has skin to skin contact and often supports breast feeding (you can still do it with a bottle). It helps with bonding. If the mother needs medical attention, the father/birth partner can do this. Sometimes, it’s not possible if the baby needs medical attention.

Final thoughts

I really enjoyed the course and got a lot more out of it than I expected.

Firstly, it was brilliant quality time with my man. We were both so relaxed afterwards, it felt like we’d been on holiday.

Secondly, the course made me feel empowered and prepared for labour. I feel excited about labour rather than afraid it will hurt or could go wrong. I’m focussed on the positive affirmations.

Thirdly, I liked how informative it was and not pushy. There was no anti-talk. It was positive and inclusive of everyone. The techniques were backed by scientific facts explaining why it works (like our hormonal responses or the way a baby moves down).

The breathing has made my baby more active – she’s been lazy until now. I love surge breathing as I get to feel her wriggle about.

I like all the exercises and tips we received to support an optimum birth – oxygen, gravity, positivity. I feel my husband is clearer about how he can support me. He has written some positive affirmations to put up round the house like subliminal messages.

I would recommend giving it a go. The techniques you learn will benefit you for life – how to relax and be positive. The course also covers the other options so if hypnobirthing isn’t for you then you are still prepared.

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I plan to post after the big day on how my labour went so I’ll let you know if any of the techniques I learnt helped or not.

Have you done hypnobirthing? Do you use positive affirmations or relaxation in your life?

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What to watch if you love witches!

This month, I thought I would share with you some of the best TV series and movies to watch if you love witches.

Movies

Practical Magic

Genre:  Fantasy Romance

This film is based on a novel by Alice Hoffman, a best selling author. If you haven’t checked out her novels, I recommend them.

The film is about the sisters overcoming a curse to find true love and keep their man.  It is just as much about the bond of sisters as it is about magic, curse and romance.

The Craft

Genre:  Fantasy/Teen Drama

The main characters are the girls that don’t fit in and I think we have all felt like that which makes them instantly likeable.  They become ‘sisters’ and unlock the secrets of witch craft enabling them to make their biggest wish come true.

This is the sort of story I would love to write.  Maybe, one day…

Hocus Pocus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UUMsInka2s

Genre:  Childrens

This film is by Disney so you know it is going to be good.  The three sisters are absolutely hilarious and today you can find memes online from the film.  “Sisters!”

Kiki’s Delivery Service

Genre: Childrens/Anime

This is from Studio Ghibli famous for their brilliant Japanese animation films. This film is about a young witch finding work at a small seaside town. She makes friends becomes part of the community and improves her broomstick flying skills. It’s a sweet story about believing in your self and trying your hardest.

The Witches

Genre: Childrens This is based on a Roald Dahl novel. As a child the book was terrifying and I found the film scary in parts too. The child hating witches are from children’s nightmare but do not fear, as it is a children’s film, the brave little boy (or mouse) and his grandma, will stop their wicked plan!

Televison

Witches of East End

Genre:  Fantasy/Drama

The mother has kept the truth from her daughters that they are witches but it is about to come out.  This series follows the daughters discovering and learning their powers and all the trouble that comes with it. Family secrets are uncovered and deadly truths.

American Horror Story (Season 3)

Genre: Horror

Of all the American Horror Story seasons I have watched, this one of my favorite as I loved the magic of the witches.  Each season is a new story so you don’t need to watch the previous seasons to watch this one. It is a horror series aimed at adults so you can’t watch this with the kids.

The Secret Circle

Genre: Fantasy/Teen Drama

This series was great.  The main character doesn’t know she is a witch as her mother has tried to keep her away from it all.  When her mum dies, she goes to live with her grandmother and discovers she is a witch.  With her return the circle is complete and the local teen population’s powers are fully awoken and now, others are coming for them.

Salem (series)

Genre:  Historical/Horror

This period drama is about witches hiding in plain sight.  It is gory, nasty and twisted.  These are not your sweet love potion witches, these are the ones that manipulate and have the power. It’s gory in places but has a lot of the traditional nastiness of witches like demon worship and familiars like reptiles (toads, snakes, etc).

Bewitched

I loved this show. It is a little dated as it’s set in a time when the dutiful housewife runs around after their husband but there is a very wholesome sweetness about this show. There’s the meddling mother, the nosy neighbour and crazy aunt Clara.

A few years later, a film with the same name based was created based on the TV show starting Nicole Kidman.

Just add magic

I started watching this when I had Amazon Prime but never finished it. First impressions, it is a great series for young girls (and those that enjoy kids shows). The main character discovers a ’cookery’ book. It turns out to be a spell book. The friends start using the ’recipes’ to help although often something goes wrong. Magic is so unpredictable.

Many more…

There are many more TV series and films with witches in and I’ll probably kick myself later when I remember those I should have included.

My all time favourite witch has to be Willow from Buffy but that isn’t until towards the end of the series.  At the start she is just the nerdy best friend of the slayer.  She’s also a redhead so she gets extra points for that.

There is also Charmed but although I watched it I wouldn’t say it made my favourite list.

Quite a few films based on fairy tales like Hansel & Gretel or The Huntsman (Winter’s War) that all feature witches are films I love but my list was getting long so I may make a fairytale list another day.

Do you love any of the above? Can you think of any witch films that I’ve forgotten or you think I’d love, please do recommend.

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Naty Ambassador

What is it?

The invitation to be a Naty Ambasador came up on Instagram and the timing couldn’t have been better as I was looking at my nappy options.

Anyone can sign up to become an ambassador and there is no obligation to buy their products. However, to gain the rewards of being an ambassador you will need to spend money as it is in the form of generous discounts. Here is what you get:

  • 65% off their diaper bag (full of products to start you off)
  • 10% off your first order
  • Free shipping when you buy two or more products
  • Quarterly exclusive limited offers for ambassadors only

I signed up and this is what I received:

Diaper bag (changing bag to UK residents):

Diaper bag (with free products): RRP £79, ambassador price £35

The bag

I don’t know the individual price of the bag but it is:

  • GOTS certified organic cotton
  • Internal pockets for everything
  • Stroller attachable

The bag is a dark Khaki green canvas style material. The clasp slide through a loop so will be quick to open when you need something inside. It feels of good quality.

The stroller attachment is on a Velcro loop. You could use it to attach thinks you don’t want to lose, like car keys, and tucking it inside.

Internally there are nine pockets, labelled up to help with organising the contents. There is a pocket for your mobile, sunglasses, nappies, food, nappy bags, wipes, wallet, clothes and bottle. I’ve not tried out the pockets yet to see if they are big enough. The food one looks small, perhaps it’s only intended for cutlery and bibs. There appears to still be a decent amount of space in the middle.

To start you off, the bag comes with the following products:

The nappies: RRP £6.25, free with diaper bagThese nappies are what inspired the brand 22 years ago! Landfill is full of plastic nappies that can’t biodegrade and are a real problem. In addition, mainstream nappies are full of harmful chemicals. Naty devised a nappy that only uses natural ingredients and is gentle to your babies delicate skin and biodegradable! Rash cream: RRP £5.15, free with diaper bag I think you can see from the picture all the reasons that make this nappy cream special. There is a long list of no nasties. It is a certified natural and organic product. Once baby is here, I probably won’t use this right away as I try to put off putting any products on my baby’s skin as long as possible. It will be handy to keep – I remember when Noah was teething, he got sore. I’m sure I’ll need something for baby number two when that happens and this product ticks all my ethical boxes. Baby wipes: RRP £2.95, free in diaper bag These sensitive (unscented) wipes are safe to use on a newborn. However, I will use cotton wool and water for as long as I possibly can. I will pack this is my changing bag in case I’m somewhere that I can’t do that. These wipes are also environmentally friendly as they are biodegradable. They were the first brand to be Vincotte certified which is the highest standard for renewable raw ingredients and very difficult to achieve. There is a good article by Thames21 about how wet wipes are polluting our rivers and contributing to the micro plastics problem. Click here to read the environmental impact of using mainstream wipes over an eco alternative like Naty. Magazine and crown: price unknown In the bag is a magazine all about the brand. It tells the story of why it began its mission 22 years ago to develop a brand that is kind to children but also the environment. It details all the innovative products they’ve added over the years and it’s turns out that they do a lot more than just nappies. There’s a double page spread detailing all the certification and awards they have achieved (Vincotte, SSNC, FSC, Swedish Asthma and Allergy Association, GOTS) to prove their eco status. The crown is a little cardboard for your little prince/princess and printed on it says ‘King of Nature’.

Using my 10% off

Disposable bags: RRP £2.50, Ambassador price £2.25

With Noah, I rarely used nappy bags. I would use the sticky tabs to fold the nappy up and make a sealed parcel and put straight in the bin. Sometimes, there wasn’t a bin and I had to take my stinky parcel with me.

I don’t like nappy bags as they are more plastic waste and another layer that’s filling landfill.

When I saw that Naty had a biodegradable alternative, I was keen to buy. I will be selective about when I use them (i.e. a real stinker and no bin nearby). I’m pleased they can biodegrade and I feel better about using these.

Would I recommend?

The products certainly meet all my desires where the environment is concerned. I feel happy about using this brand on my baby. The little lady hasn’t arrived yet so she’s not tested them out but I have high hopes these will get repurchased.

Naty has a subscription service that allows 15% off and is for all customers (ambassador or not).

I think the benefits of being a Naty ambassador are awesome. I’m glad I signed up and would recommend it to anyone interested in supporting or trying out an eco friendly brand.

The difficulty shopping for maternity/nursing outfits

Me vs The Model

So, firstly, I don’t mind that some of the maternity/nursing outfits are modelled by someone who isn’t pregnant as the outfit should be for during pregnancy and afterwards. In fact, I think it would be useful if these outfits were shown on a pregnant woman and a nursing woman to show how it looks at both stages.

My gripe is that I don’t believe any of these models are pregnant (the ones with bumps) or nursing (the ones without bumps). Everyone I know who is about to have a baby or just had one, have massive milk jugs ready for their hungry newborn. Even women who usually describe themselves as flat chested!

These models have lovely perky pre-pregnancy boobs like women who have never had a baby. It has led to disappointment when I have tried outfits on as they just don’t fit. Rather than sulk that my hunt for the right dress goes on, I decided to share the pics of me trying on the dresses.

Peach flap dress

Store: www.asos.com

RRP: £39.99

Brand: Mamalicious

This peach dress looks classy and sophisticated on the model. It has a lift flap to access for breastfeeding. I like the colour and the satin ribbon that gives it something extra. I’m not keen on having sleeves in the summer. I wasn’t keen that under the flap the material was gaping and caused an unattractive crease. My husband thought I looked like a nun. I sent this back.

Blue wrap dress

Store: www.asos.com

RRP: £39.99

Brand: Mamalicious

This is the prettiest nursing summer dress I have seen. On the model, I think it barely looks like a nursing dress. It’s a style I’d love for summer every year and I love pastel blue.

I’m not a ‘frills’ girl and certainly not after this – they were everywhere. The clasp at the bust was gaping. I think it needed a modesty panel underneath to take into account that it may gape. The blue had a grey tinge to it and wasn’t as pretty as the advertised picture.

The gaping made it feel tarty and not pretty. I sent this dress back.

Blue button dress

Store: www.hm.com

RRP: £24.99

Brand: MAMA collection

It looks so pretty on the model and a beautiful light summer staple that you could easily dress up or down for multiple occasions. It could even be worn smart to the office in the summer.

This dress is terribly creased and I think it’s the sort of material that creases easily. I doubt I’ll have time to iron and do a school run with a newborn in September. The buttons are just decoration so it is not suitable for breastfeeding post pregnancy. In addition, the bust was too small and you can see the fabric straining in the photo – very uncomfortable.

This got sent back.

Lilac flap dress

Store: www.hm.com

RRP: £19.99

Brand: MAMA collection

The model looks like a young version of me. I think everyone loves when they see a model similar to their own colouring as you can instantly tell if an outfit would suit you or not. However, she doesn’t look pregnant or like she’s just had a baby…

Lilac is a colour that isn’t around much in the shops but is ever so pretty. I bought this dress as something casual to wear but it fit and looked the best out of all the designs and was the cheapest.

I pulled the drawstring tight above my bump but when the baby is here and I am feeding, I will wear it loose like the model. I’m hoping the loose style will be flattering on my post-pregnancy body. I kept this dress.

The hunt goes on…

Although I kept the H&M lilac dress, it wasn’t quite what I wanted. I’ve booked a photo shoot for when the baby is here and I wanted a dress for a nice family picture but one I can feed and wear every day afterwards.

The lilac dress is perfect for summer feeding and I think teamed with leggings and a cardigan I can wear it through the cooler months too, but it is too casual looking for the shoot.

Please let me know if you see a dress you think I should try? I’m trying to avoid all the patterns and flowery styles and I don’t want to spend too much.

NB: I am 34 weeks pregnant in these pictures. Although, on Instagram, I put ’36 weeks’ as I was thinking ‘just 6 weeks to go’. Silly baby brain.

Shopping for maternity/nursing clothes

The second-half of this article is to help you out shopping. It will cover what you need to buy and when and the best places to buy. Many high street stores don’t cater to pregnant or nursing women.

You can try looking for regular clothing and adapting it for your changing body like stretchy fabrics or straps that come down easily. Button tops or wrap tops that you could still nurse in. If you are ordering regular fitting clothes you will likely need to buy larger than your pre-pregnancy size.

If you wish to buy actual maternity/nursing clothes then you will probably have to shop online as the high street is limited or nonexistent. If buying from this range, order in your pre-pregnancy size.

What you need for the stages

First trimester (up to the end of week 12)

From early on, especially if this isn’t your first pregnancy, you will feel bigger.  I felt like I was constantly bloated and nothing fit comfortably.  Plus, I wasn’t ready to tell colleagues so I needed to hide the little bump.

I stocked up on clothes from Primark in a size or two bigger and wore loose-fitting tops.  I opted to wear anything with a stretch like leggings or joggers.

The only maternity clothes I bought were some staple pieces from George (Asda), such as:

  • Maternity Tapered Stretch Trousers:  RRP £8 (a bargain for work)
  • Maternity Over Bump Skinny Jeans:  RRP £14 in black (I returned later to buy again in blue)
  • Maternity V-Neck Camisole:  RRP £7 in navy, black and blue
  • Maternity Nursing Pyjamas Short Set:  RRP £15 (these will last me from bump and beyond)
  • Racer Back Maternity Tankini Top:  RRP £12.50 (I also bought the bottoms but can’t remember the price)
  • Strappy Lace Trim Comfort Bra/Comfort bra:  RRP £6 (black and white)
  • 20 Denier Maternity Cooling Tights:  RRP £3

I matched them up with the things I could still fit into from my wardrobe.  At this stage, your boobs are growing so you ought to wear bras without underwire.  I wore sports bras, the cotton cami style bras from George and Groupon.

NB: Later in pregnancy, I had to shorten the straps on the V-neck camisole top as maternity bras come up high. I wish they’d put adjusters on the straps.

Second trimester (week 13 to end of week 27)

This is when you start to sport a noticeable bump.  By the end of this trimester, people may even feel you show enough that they are able to comment on your beautiful bump. If you’ve told people, you’ll likely want to wear clothes that show it off.

I was lucky enough to go with a friend on a shopping trip around Lakeside.  I got measured in Debenhams but bought my bras from Marks & Spencers.  I got nursing bras so that I could use them after my pregnancy too.

The first shop I bought maternity clothes from was Top Shop but the store I went crazy in, for their brilliant range of maternity (and nursing clothes) was H&M.

However, H&M Lakeside had only one changing room, the store was boiling hot in March and there was nowhere for the pregnant women to sit who were waiting!

  • MAMA 2-pack nursing tops £17.99 ( I bought a few packs)
  • MAMA 2-pack t-shirts £12.99
  • MAMA Nursing dress £24.99 (suitable to wear to work too)
  • MAMA Floral pattern T-shirt £12.99

I really wanted to buy more but maternity bras are very expensive so my shopping trip had already exceeded my budget & usually I’m really good at not overspending.

Third trimester (week 28 to baby’s delivery)

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It’s a girl!

A post shared by Author Ally Aldridge (@redfae) on

In these final few weeks, I am feeling very big.  Most pre-pregnancy clothes no longer fit with the exception of the odd loose maxi dress or stretchy maxi skirt. Even non-maternity leggings press into my bump.

I resent buying something that I can’t wear past pregnancy as I don’t have long left. I don’t want a dress that will cling to my bump if I’ve had the baby.  I plan to breastfeed so I’d rather invest in nursing wear although choices are very limited.  I have found ASOS to have the best range for maternity/nursing clothes.

I’ve also found a very basic store online that sells nursing clothes at affordable prices called Happy Mama.  They also sell delivery gowns.  I plan to order some pieces from their site next month for my hospital bag.

I bought a dress from Mamalicious for my sister’s 10y wedding party but it didn’t arrive in time.  They said it would take 3 to 4 days standard delivery but it took 10 days! I complained and returned the dress and they refunded the cost plus P&P.

Where to buy

These are the stores I found best for clothing during my pregnancy:

  • ASDA – George
  • Top Shop
  • H&M
  • ASOS
  • Boohoo
  • Happy Mama
  • Mamalicious
  • Seraphine

Where are your top places to buy maternity/nursing wear?

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May/June, What have I been watching?

Here are the shows I have loved these past months.

The Originals (season 5)

Genre: Fantasy

The Originals is a spin-off series from The Vampire Diaries. The Vampire Diaries story is about a high school girl and her friends. During the seasons, they attract the attention of the original vampire and werewolf family.

The Originals series is about that family and has flashbacks to explain more about their origins. The series has a more mature tone as the characters are much older (they are the oldest!).

Last season, the family went their separate ways for safety, due to some very powerful dark magic cast against them by angry dead witches (this is a very brief summary). This season involves them all coming back together to take back control.

With The Originals you can expect complex family relationships and drama caused by ancient feuds. There is magic and blood and politics (their laws) in every episode. It is a great series and did not disappoint.

Handmaid’s Tale (season 2)

Genre: Drama – post apocalyptic

Wow, this season opened with an episode that had me on the edge of my seat. There were plenty of shocks in this season and I’ve found myself counting down the days until the next episode is released. It did slow a little in the middles but it was building suspense and laying down what was to come.

Handmaids is set in the future where women are struggling to fall pregnant, deliver and sustain a healthy baby. This has made people desperate for a child but can’t, fertile women are valuable and a new world order is implemented. They use religion to doctor their new idea and oppress their people. The population is captured and ‘trained’ for their new role in society and they are constantly watched by armed guards. Disobedience has severe consequences, including death as an example to others.

The handmaids are the fertile women. Their duty is to get pregnant and deliver a baby to the household they have been allocated to. The main character, June, is renamed OfFred to denote who she belongs to, I.e Fred is her master, the commander of the house she’s been allocated to. Conception is done by a biblical reading and then a ceremony involving the handmaid lying between the wife’s legs so the husband can impregnate the handmaids whilst looking at his wife. It is cold and rather disturbing.

The first season was great, so I had high expectations for season two and it didn’t disappoint. In this season, OfFred is heavily pregnant and fearing for the world the baby will be born into. Serena (the lady of the house – the Commander’s wife) starts breaking rules and appears to not be as devoted to her husband as she was originally.

Other countries are looking to Gilead to support them with their fertility crisis. There is a suicide bomber terrorist attack against the Commanders. Letters written by the oppressed women manages to be smuggled and released into Canada shedding light on what is really going on in America (now called Gilead) and damages their alliance with this country.

I’ve not finished this season but I am hooked.

Greys Anatomy (season 14)

https://youtu.be/Ncn0L-ykTOM

Genre: Drama – medical

I still enjoy the medical emergencies and relationships between their staff but since Meredith lost her husband, it’s not quite the same. Their complicated love life helped push the series along and now there isn’t a strong storyline pulling the season together. I’ll keep watching but I don’t feel as attached anymore.

Rain (season 1)

Genre: Dystopia

This is a Danish TV Series. The world has been infected by a virus transmitted by the rain. Two children are hidden in a bunker by their parents. The children stay hidden there for years living off the survival supplies until they decide to venture out and try and find their dad. The world is quite dangerous as the survivors of the world are desperate for food and shelter. The siblings make friends with another party and travel together.

At first their accents were a little strange but I got used to it. Each episode finishes with a conclusion rather than a cliff hanger, often I felt the season would have been more compelling if it ended at a different point in the episode. My husband found the rain unbelievable as he felt they all would be infected with no survivors as sometimes it rains without warning (very true in the UK).

I would still recommend giving it a go as it is a different idea and it is great to see what is being created by other countries that often don’t make it to our TV screens.

I haven’t quite finished it yet as the episodes don’t leave me needing to know ’what next?’ But I will continue to watch this.

Siren (season 1)

Genre: Fantasy

I love mermaids and I love how they’ve made them so real in this series. The mermaids (or sirens) can shift into human form. They fear humans as we have hurt them in the past and stay hidden deep in the ocean. Due to over fishing, there is a lack of food and the mermaids need to come up higher to eat. One gets caught and that starts the catalyst for the whole season as another mermaid comes out of the sea to look for her sister. She has to quickly learn our ways and those helping and protecting her need to learn hers. When a mermaid feels threatened they are incredibly dangerous, in addition, they have a pretty song that can drive people crazy. There is a military group looking for the sirens to capture and experiment on.

The series was brilliant and I’m really pleased I watched it. I can’t wait for the next season – there needs to be more.

The only way is Essex (series 1 to 14)

Genre: Reality (sort of)

Oh no, what happened! I just put this on as some background TV and now I keep watching it. I call this ‘tacky tv’. It won’t enrich your life but it will kill time.

It follows a group of young adults social lives in Essex. Some things are set up for example two people who don’t like each other will end up in the same restaurant/club – resulting in having ’words’. Most of the guys are notorious cheats and lie. They deny it, the girls believe their lies and hates on anyone saying the truth but eventually it is so obvious they admit it and break up. The girls and guys love to gossip and often make situations within the groups even more tense.

You do end up liking some characters. I really like nanny Pat – she is a star. I think Jasmin is often treated unfairly by others who are jealous of her, she’s beautiful and never done anything wrong. I thought Amy was the nicest girl and it’s a shame she wasn’t in it for long. Tom is the nicest of the guys but there is still time for him to disappoint me and become a lying cheat.

They are all loaded but most of them don’t seem to work – they mostly open a shop or a night club but they are always out meeting for coffee/lunch (gossiping) or partying and on holiday (scandal & drama). The only character that appeared to have a real job was Amy Child’s who leaves after season 1 – I really liked her.

It you have time to kill, it’s not bad. Be warned you can get sucked in and cringe a lot.

Final thoughts…

Siren and The Handmaid’s Tale are my top two recommendations. Both were amazing for different reasons. They are the sort of shows that capture your imagination and leave you wanting (needing) more.I would love to know if you’ve watched any of the above (or planning to) and your thoughts on the shows.

Also, now you can see what I enjoyed watching this month you may have some ideas on what else I should be watching – please do make recommendations.

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Reflecting on goals

To start the year, I set myself some goals for the year ahead.  I plan to check periodically during the year on how well I am keeping on track.  If you set yourself goals it is important to check on yourself to make sure you are on target and to re-focus yourself.

If you want to view my last check in on myself, click here.

Achievements

This is a new section in my personal reflection. I am often so hard on myself and critical that I forget to celebrate my wins. Today, I am acknowledging what I achieved and giving myself a pat on the back:

  • Completed NaPoWriMo’s 30 day challenge
  • Achieved over 100 followers
  • I wrote a guest article for Carol J Forrester’s blog, Writing and Works (click here)
  • My poem on mental health was featured on Stoner On A Rollercoaster’s blog (click here)

On Reflection

Here a the highlights from this quatre:

Summary:  Putting my goals into a table has made it much clearer as to what my targets are. I am really pleased with some of my achievements this quarter.

Blogging: I am so pleased with how I have not only managed to post weekly but most weeks I’ve posted three or more articles. It has really helped to have a schedule with topic ideas.

Writing: In April I attempted NaPoWriMo. The support of the poet community was amazing and really boosted my confidence. Posting daily was a challenge in itself, let alone trying to meet the daily prompt.

2018 June - Goals review

Blogging Goals Review

  • ACHIEVED:  I exceeded my weekly post target every week. On average I’ve been posting three to four articles and in April I posted daily, sometimes more than once!
  • ALMOST ACHIEVED:  The draw back of so many articles is time to schedule the tweets on LoCal. I think I need to rethink my Twitter schedule to make this more manageable.
  • ACHIEVED: I have really enjoyed sharing more personal articles about my family life and plan to include more personal content in future.
  • ACHIEVED:  I have started including some personal posts on my blog such as my son’s World Book Day and What I’ve Been Watching.
  • NOT ACHIEVED: I tried vlogging and created two videos but I wasn’t confident enough to share them. Maybe with more practice I’ll get better and he more confident in my video content.
  • ACHIEVED: The monthly schedule has been awesome. It really helps to see what I plan to post and when. I keep ideas for posts and can switch items in my plan as needed.

Writing Goals Review

  • ACHIEVED:  I have finished querying Drift. I’m now handling the “we thought it was good but not for us right now” gentle stream of rejections. If I don’t hear good news, I still have three other options I am considering.
  • ACHIEVED: Yes, I got my tickets and I’m looking forward to the events at Felixstowe Book Festival. There will be an article on how it went.
  • ACHIEVED:  I have now finished The Gender Game and two other books. I’m roughly getting through a novel every two months, so next quarter that will be my goal. I’m currently deciding what to read next.
  • ALMOST ACHIEVED:  I have been reading about Pitch Wars. I am still not sure what to do but I think as a writer I don’t get involved until August… we’ll see. It would be awesome to have a mentor.

New goals

For the months ahead,. I have updated the table:

2018 June - Goals set

As I wasn’t successful at keeping my Twitter schedule up-to-date, I am going to try and improve that in the next quatre.  I’m still keen to try vlogging but it is not as high in my importance as it was earlier this year.

In the next quatre, I expect I will reduce my blogging frequency in favour of getting back into novel writing and to allow me to take it more easy with a newborn.

My wild imagination cannot let go of the dream of being published and I am holding out hope that perhaps an agent I have queries will want to take my novel on.  If that was to happen, working with them would be my number one priority.

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Sun protection

Nobody understands the importance of being safe in the sun like a redhead! Plus, being pregnant makes your skin even more sensitive to the suns rays – people who don’t often get burnt are more likely to when pregnant.

Here are the products I am using to get me through summer this year:

Riemann P20

I usually buy this from Savers as they often have the best price going. I buy SPF 50 and spray it on before leaving the house and forget about it as it lasts 10 hours!

The spray does have a yellow tinge to it but once dry it is clear. However, I take care to avoid getting it on fabrics as I think it could stain.

My job involves driving and my arms can get roasted through the windows. When I wear this I don’t need to worry. I also use it on my son when he goes to nursery and he will play outside all day if it is hot. The staff do reapply if the kids have played in water. So far, he’s not returned home burnt.

Sadly, I can’t find anything to say they are cruelty free so I suspect they are not. I would love to discover an organic and cruelty free alternative that offers 10h+ protection.

Malibu

I was in Savers getting my P20 and this was next to it on the shelf. It’s my first time buying this brand and I just picked it up as I needed something for my face and it was cheap. A sunscreen specifically for your face is necessary as other products can block your pores and make your eyes water.

It is a very light cream moisturiser and I apply it before my make up. I’ve not suffered a flakey nose and I’m quite pleased with it.

Malibu is cruelty free and most products are vegan friendly. I had no idea and it was a nice surprise to discover this.

Acorelle’s face balm is an organic alternative, however, last year I was so upset by my experience with their other sun-care products I actually complained – they didn’t care (no response). I was also tempted by Coola but their products are more pricy and I couldn’t find space in my budgets.

Alba Botanica

This brand is great but tricky to track down in the UK. I bought mine from Cos Natural.

I got SPF 50 kids for my son (yellow bottle) and SPF 50 sensitive (green bottle) for me. The product reminds me of Ambre Solaire which was a sun lotion I swore by and has made the switch easy. It’s easy to spray and doesn’t need to be rubbed in. The lotion is clear. You twist the lid to lock it so it doesn’t spray in your bag.

Alba Botanica is everything I could wish for; effective, ethical, cruelty free and organic!

On my wish list:

  • Coola: Is still on my wish list and as soon as my budget can accommodate a purchase, I will get this. I like their SPF face moisturiser and SPF make-up fixing spray.
  • Jane Iredale: I’m praying they release a BB shade between 1 & 3 because I loved this and it has a high SPF… but it was too expensive to keep buying both shades and mixing them together. I’m also tempted by their high SPF face powder.

The best and worst sun lotions by a redhead!

Last year I wrote about the sun lotions that have earned my trust and those that broke my heart and blistered my skin. If you want to know the best and worst, please click here or on the title picture below.

https://instagram.com/p/BWPz9y1h_QO/

Recommendations

I hope you’ve found my recommendations useful. Please let me know if there is a sun product I need to try.

Here is my infographic on staying safe in the sun:

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