Ally Aldridge Books, Festival, Tips, Writing

Felixstowe Book Festival – The Publishing Industry

This event was hosted by Phoebe Morgan who promised to share her advice on how to get published, attract an agent and attract an editor. It was held at the Sailing Club with stunning views of Felixstowe Ferry.

Introductions

Phoebe Morgan is the best selling author of The Doll House and works at Orion as an Editorial Director. She explained a little about the books she works on (crime, thrillers, women’s fiction and saga). She had created a presentation especially for us.

Before she started, Phoebe went around the room and got each of us to introduce ourselves and what we are writing and hoping to get out of the talk. There was something very endearing about Phoebe. People instantly warmed to her and wanted her to know about their writing. I think it is the way she appreciated and valued every writer in the room.

I shared that I have just finished editing Jewel of the Sea and sent it out to Beta Readers.  I explained that I have queried a lot, been rejected a lot and then edited again and have lost count of the cycle.  I confessed that I am now considering self publishing and believe my query letter and synopsis is not having the right effect on agents.

First Impressions

Phoebe’s talk began talking about bestsellers and popular genres and why these books are doing well. She emphasised why it is so important for writers to know what is trending when they are querying because this links to how it will be pitched to editors and publishing houses.

Phoebe had put together examples of pitches to illustrate how important it is to quickly get agents up to speed on what your novel is about in just one sentence.

Example: The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins – Woman sees inciting incident through her train window.

Phoebe told us what genres are trending right now. However, it is best to write the novel you want as these are constantly changing. She talked about why genre fiction is popular and why it is important for us to identify the genre where our novel will be placed. This helps the publishers identify where to market, package, design and price it. She pointed out how we need to be passionate enough about our books to promote it for two years!

Phoebe had collected examples of the first line of successful books and discussed how these sentences grip the reader right from the start. She pointed out how agents are often very busy and if they are not pulled in from the start, they will move on to the next. She pointed out how in a shop, a reader may pick up a book and look at that first line to decide whether to buy it or not.

Example: The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins – There is a pile of clothing on the train tracks.

Then, she got us to share the first line of our books and discussed their strengths. She also suggested that some writers should consider starting further into the story where the action starts.

Novel Writing

She went on to talk about how to use suspense and pacing in our novels giving us tips on how to use these to make our novels a page turner. For examples, shorter sentences and chapters can speed up action but you can do the opposite for when you need to pull the reader in for more detail – there needs to be a balance between the two.

Ending a chapter on a cliff hanger can leave a reader needing to read the next chapter, to do this successful you need the reader to care about the character and be worried about them or the invested in the outcome. It helps to make the characters life full of obstacles – if it is too easy, it is boring. Obstacles create conflict.

Phoebe briefly covered different ways to structure your novel and why this is important.

Characters are incredibly important in your novel so Phoebe had collected a few tips to help us. In my notes I jotted down:

  • Not too many – you only need three to five main characters.  If you have more then you can lose the reader as they won’t be able to connect with them.  If you have too many, see if two characters can be merged together to fulfil one role.
  • Zoom in technique – Imagine a lens and zoom in and think of little things that makes the character who they are.
  • Back stories – Make sure you know your characters back stories, even if this doesn’t come into the story it will influence who they are and make them more vivid when you write.
  • Motivations – Understand what drives your characters.  What are their goals and what they want to achieve, etc.
  • Likeable?  – It is not necessary for the reader to like your main character whoever readers do need at least one character they can emphasise with.  

Phoebe then got us to think about one of the characters in our novel and write for five minutes about their backstory.  I chose Luna who is a secondary character but her back story and actions are the catalyst for the entire series.  She is a character I need to know inside and out.  I may one day write a short story about her. 

Roles

She then told us about the steps to getting published. There were twelve steps! I’ve always been focused on ‘getting an agent’ that I have not thought much more about ‘what next’. It turns out there is a lot that happens after you get an agent, and a lot that happens after you an editor and after all that, when you finally get an offer from a publisher, you can say no.

Phoebe went into more detail about what an agent does and how to pitch one. I felt like I knew a lot of this as it is something I’ve done a lot of. Phoebe was able to recommend some good agents and resources like The Writer’s and Artists’ Yearbook.

She then told us what editors look for. It was very insightful to hear this as the agent will be looking for these things in your query. The agent will be trying to figure out whether they can pitch your novel to editors. Here are the main things editors want:

  • A strong, clear, one-sentence hook
  • A good sense of voice – character needs to feel new and unique
  • Fill a spot on their list – keep an eye out for out for wish lists
  • Pleasure to work with – they will check out social media to see if you take writing seriously but this is not a deal breaker.
  • A clear vision – they need to believe in the book and be able to see it doing well.

She ended by warning us that rejection is something almost every published author has experienced. She gave us tips on how to deal with and was very encouraging that a rejection doesn’t mean give up.

Summary

She finished by giving us a list of resources for further information and how to contact her if we have further questions. She also took our emails so she could send us a copy of her presentation.

Phoebe was so lovely, approachable and genuinely wanted to help everyone in the room. Writers who get to work with her are truly blessed.

I did have a damsel in distress moment in the car park where a knight in shinning armour came to my rescue. More about this in my next Felixstowe Book Festival post.

I hope you have found this useful. If you want to connect with Phoebe, you can find her:

Twitter: @Phoebe_A_Morgan

Facebook: @PhoebeMorganAuthor

Instagram: @phoebeannmorgan

And don’t forget you can buy her debut novel The Doll House, or The Girl Next Door.

Learn more about Phoebe Morgan on her website.

If you enjoyed this, you may like:

Literary dates calendar

Seven tips for querying agents

#PitMad June 2019 Summary

Felixstowe Book Festival – Containment

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Ally Aldridge Books, Review, Tips, Writing

Book Review: Save the Cat – Writes a Novel

Author:  Jessica Brody

This book came highly recommended on Instagram and when Bethany Atazadeh and Brittany Wang did their #STCExperiement – YouTube videos of them using the book to outline a novel – I decided I had to get it so I could join in.  

What is the book about?

The book is based on books by Blake Snyder who writes guides for scriptwriters.  Jessica identified that the best novels use the same structure.  In this guide to writing she adapts the ‘Save the Cat’ beats for novel writing.  She also gives plenty of examples form best sellers – even if you haven’t read them you will know their names.  

How it works?

This guide splits the novel into four Acts.  Each act is broken down into beats.  The Beats have names and descriptions to prompt you what needs to be happening in your novel.  

Once you read the book you will start noticing the beats in films you watch.  It is a real eye opener. 

How I used it?

Editing (Jewel of the Sea)

When the book arrived I had just decided that Jewel of the Sea needed yet another edit!  I wanted to re-write the ending, however, that’s not as easy as just jumping to the end and writing it.   There are little details that need to be woven in throughout the novel.

After reading STC, I created a spreadsheet based on my word count and used the percentages to see where certain beats should be happening.  It turned out I had a lot of the beats but in some places my pacing was off.  I then used STC to help with that.  

Plotting Act 1 (Scarlet Dresses)

For Camp NaNo April, I used STC to draft out the first Act for a new novel called Scarlet Dresses.  During the challenge I made a really good start on this novel.

My only hold up was that I felt my characters were a bit flat as I had not spent long enough developing them.  I feel the story had got potential so I plan to return to this project and complete it… one day.  

Plotting and editing (Diamond in the Sky)

This month, I decided to do Camp NaNo July.  Jewel of the Sea is out with Beta Readers and I need to start thinking about writing the next novel in my shifter series.  Now, Diamond in the Sky has been started but never finished.  Now I am more familiar with STC, I decided to use it for both editing and plotting.  

To start with I need to edit what I already have.  I have used STC to plot the first Act and created my spreadsheet to check the pacing is right.  There are a few instances where it is slightly off and I have noted this on my spreadsheet to check later.  First, I want to get the novel written.

The next step will be to use STC to plot the rest of the novel – the unwritten chapters.  I will use STC to check that when I create the different beats that I am getting the pacing right.  

Final thoughts…

This book has changed the way I write.  I have always been a pantser and found editing incredibly hard.  Writing without a plan often can take you off on wayward paths that are not necessary or haven’t been preempted to create the right impact.  This results in a lot of editing – something I hate. 
 
With STC, I feel have a guide keeping me on track and I can check my pacing is working.  Previously, my outline was incredibly brief and left a lot of gaps for me to fill but having a plot keeps me on track and I don’t get stuck.  
 
If you need help plotting and with pacing, then I highly recommend this book.  Now, it is always close to hand and I wouldn’t write a novel without it.  I love it.  
 
Do you have any writer resources that you swear by?

If you like this, you may enjoy:

How I edited my novel – 12 tips for self editing

Where to find great story ideas…

Book Review: Who runs the world by Virginia Bergolt

Book Review: Lion’s Share

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Ally Aldridge Novel, Tips, Writing

Where to find great story ideas…

I am never short of ideas to write, just time to work on them. Today, I am going to share with you where I get my inspiration so you too can have an abundance of ideas.

Where I get my inspiration:

Art

My story Jewel of the sea was inspired by a photograph of a couple kissing underwater.

Music

Listening to songs can often drive emotions and take you to places that creates a story.

Films/Shows/Books

Sometimes I am watching or reading something and it inspires me to write my own story.

Dreams

Not everyone can remember there dreams but if you can your subconscious can be a great source of ideas.

People watch

Watching the world go by gives plenty of opportunities to generate ideas or characters and these can be the start of something.

Take a walk

Not only is it a great way to clear your head but whilst you are out you will see things to spark ideas.

Experience new things

Learning and doing new things will generate new ideas.  You can also learn about new things from other people sharing their experiences with you.

What if?

Asking what if.  Everytime you ask this question it pushes you to think and imagine what next and start building a story.

History

You can use experiences from your own past or research historical events or periods to get your imagination going.

I would love to hear whether you use any of the above methods to come up with ideas and I would love to hear of any methods you use that I’ve not mentioned.

Image by artist Lacie Slezak on Unsplash

If you like this, then you will enjoy:

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Ally Aldridge Tips, Writing

Point of View — Ally Aldridge

This article is about how to choose the best Point Of View for your story.

View point examples

Here are some examples of the view points you may consider using for writing your story.  It helps to understand these when making your decision.

NB:  These examples have a Halloween horror theme…

  • First person:  when the whole story is told from their view point.  A good way to show their inner emotions and thoughts.  Uses “I” and “We”.
My clammy hand shook as I pushed open the door and gagged at the vile stench.
  • Second person:  rarely used in fiction as it can sound like you are giving instruction but good for choice-adventure style stories.  Uses “You”.
As you enter the dimly lit room, the sharp smell of rotting corpses makes you gag.
  • Third person:  the story is told as if you are an observer watching what is taking place – very useful for stories with many characters.  Uses “He”, “She”, “It” and their name.

There are different types of third person.

  • Limited Third Person:  This will follow a MC but will give the reader the experience of watching what is happening, although it is still possible for the writer to share the MCs thoughts and feelings.  Sometimes called “Close Third Person”.
Her sweaty hand opened the door.  As she entered the room, she gagged at the vile stench.
  • Omniscient Third Person:  The reader watches the scene as the writer tells them all the characters thoughts, feelings and background and can even share their own thoughts during the story.  Sometimes called “Distant Third Person”.
If she had any sense, the stench should have deterred her from entering the room.

Single Character

If you decide that the story will follow a single character then you will want to choose either:

Single Character POV.pngFirst person:  Choose to write in first person view if it is important for your reader to know your character intimately.  You will need to share their inner most thoughts and feelings and they will have no secrets from the reader.

Limited Third Person:  Alternatively, you can choose to write in Limited Third Person view.  This isn’t as intimate but the reader is watching what the MC is doing and you can share their thoughts and feelings with the author.

Readers enjoy stories with a single main character because they can get to know them and understand their actions and reactions.   It is easier for the reader to form an attachment as they will care whether your character succeeds or fails and this keeps them engaged.

Multiple Character

If you choose to tell the story from multiple characters this can enable you to show more of what is happening and is less restrictive.

Multiple Character POVFirstPerson:   If you chose to tell the story in first person, make sure that when you switch between characters it is easy for the reader to follow. For example, you could start a new chapter or section that is headed with the new person’s name i.e. “Gwyn’s Point of View”.  In addition, you will need to ensure each character has a strong and unique voice so they are easy to identify.

Limited Third Person:   Similar things to consider as in first person, although, it can be easier to establish who is being followed as the writer can give the characters name within the narrative.

Omniscient Third Person:   This point of view is often described as being ‘god like’ as the writer knows and shares everything about the characters.  The writer can move from character to character within a chapter and is particularly useful when writing action.

Mixed:  You could use different view point styles for different characters to make it clear when the voice has changed.  The risk of this is that readers get comfortable with a certain POV style and if it is suddenly changed, it can throw them out of the story.

Readers can struggle with attaching to multiple characters as it doesn’t allow them sufficient time to get to know them and care about their conquests.  In addition, they may like one voice and not be able to stand the other voice which could ruin the story for them.

Which to choose?

Pros & Cons for each POV

Re-write

If you write a chapter and it’s not working, simply re-write it in another POV or from another characters perspective.  The change in voice could solve your problem.  Don’t be afraid to try a POV you’ve never tried before.

To see the original article, please click: Point of View — Ally Aldridge

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Ally Aldridge Novel, Writing

The Story Snippets Challenge

I love the photo prompt challenges on Instagram, especially those that inspire and encourage me to share my writing.

The #StorySnippetsChallenge was hosted by the following authors on Instagram: @amandalyncreek , @bridieblake , @jjotisauthor , @sireyourstory and @son_dae_writes .

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Tomorrow is the start of #StrorySnippetChallenge. I'm going to join in. To find details of the writers hosting the event and how to take part, see below: Repost from @amandalyncreek using @RepostRegramApp – So excited to co-host the #storysnippetschallenge with @bridieblake, @jjotisauthor, @sireyourstory, and @son_dae_writes! ⁣⠀And a big thanks to @authorbrittanywang for bringing us together in her Patreon group. ⁣⠀ The challenge will happen during the week of May 20th- 26th if you want to join us. This will also be the first time I reveal anything about my work in progress. I'm what I like to call nervcited to share, although I've received good feedback so far from my teacher and my classmates. ?⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ Each day of the challenge has a prompt and a corresponding hashtag. Here they are:⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ Day 1: #MeettheMainCharacter (tell us anything you want about your protagonist!)⁣⠀ Day 2: #TeaserTuesday (Share something that will make your audience want to read your work in progress!)⁣⠀ Day⁣ 3: #SettingSetup (Describe your world/setting to show the mood/tone of your WIP)⁣⠀ Day 4: #FirstLines (She a snippet of the beginning.)⁣⠀ Day 5: #ThemeStated (What's your overall theme in your WIP?)⁣⠀ Day 6: #ExcitingMoment (This can be your inciting incident or midpoint. No spoilers, though.)⁣⠀ Day 7: FunDialogue (Show off one of your favorite conversations in your WIP)⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ If you're an author and want to join, be sure to share this image and use the hashtag #storysnippetschallenge!⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ Let's do this! :)⁣⠀

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My story snippets

Here, in this blog post I am going to collate and share all my snippets in one place that I posted during Monday, 20 May 2019 to Sunday, 26 May 2019. These are snippets from a work in progress so may change by the final edited version:

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

View this post on Instagram

Today’s prompt for the #storysnippetschallenge is #themestated I only recently learnt about this concept of novel writing from #savethecatwritesanovel , so I hope I have got this right. In chapter one an unexpected thunder storm strikes the removal van and cuts the engine. This postpones her best friend (& neighbour) Jace from moving away. The storm is a hint at Marian’s powers awakening early. Only Gwyn is aware of her being a #mermaid. She gives Mariah this advice/warning but Mariah shrugs it off angrily as she thinks her mum doesn’t get how upset she is about the situation. She heads off to enjoy the extra time she now has with Jace. Later in Act 3, Mariah will need to learn to control her emotions to master her powers. #contemporaryfantasy #paranormalromance #jewelofthesea

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Saturday

Sunday

View this post on Instagram

Today is the last day of the #storysnippetschallenge . Today’s prompt was #FunDialogue : He laughed and leapt off his swing at the highest point, flying into the air and then landing on his feet a few yards in front. I followed suit. My dress floated up around my waist, before falling back to my knees. "I saw your knickers," Jace smirked. I blushed, "How old are you?" "Thought you were a lady now?" He teased, "Flashing isn't very lady like." "At least I act my age and not my shoe size!" Childishly, Jace stuck out his tongue. Laughing, he grabbed my hand and all the anger washed away in a second, replaced by a fast running bubbling brook that was turning a whirlpool inside me, "I want to show you the duck pond." #jewelofthesea #yafiction #paranormalromance #contemporaryfantasy

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Reflecting on the challenge

I really enjoyed this challenge. It made me think about different parts of my story. I’ve lost count of the number of times I have edited my manuscript but I was still checking over and fine tuning the snippets before posting.

Most of all, I love sharing my writing and this was a great opportunity to give my followers snippets and tease them into wanting to read more. I think using snippets like this would be a great way to promote a published book too as it gives people a taste of your writing and the story, like a little appetiser.

It was great fun seeing what others writers were working on too. Writing a novel can be lonely but taking part gave a sense of being part of something bigger – I was not alone in my writing journey. It gave something to connect with other writers over.

I was flattered when someone commented on how much they liked the way I presented my snippets. This was a huge compliment as I am no professional. They are all created for free in Canva. On Thursday, I created my image in Canva and then used the Video Typer app to animate my text – again this was free.

Have you ever shared snippets of your novel?

If you enjoyed this, you may enjoy:

Create with Canva Beginners Course Review

Instagram For Writers — Ally Aldridge

April, I featured poets – what’s next?

Camp NaNoWriMo Diary (midpoint April 2019)

Camp NaNoWriMo Diary (middle to end)

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Ally Aldridge Tips, Writing

Tips on naming your character

Character names.pngToday, I am going to share with you some of the methods I use for choosing my characters names.  Please cherry pick the ones that work for you.

Naming you character

Choosing a name for your character can be difficult.  My preferred methods is to choose names that are an Aptronym.

Try to think about who they are and where they are from in your decision making:

Finding a name

  • Period in time:  If your story is set in the past, you should research typical names for the time otherwise it won’t be believable.
  • Geographic:  Find names that tell your reader where they are from.  For example, if they have moved to America from Africa use a typical African name.
  • Personality:  Check the meanings of names to see if it reflects their personality.  For example, are they bitter or a happy person.
  • Characteristics: Check the meaning of names to see if they describe the way their look.  For example, do they have dark hair or blue eyes and they a runner with strong legs.
  • Abilities:  Check the meaning of names for their abilities i.e. are they clever, a singer or do they have super powers connected to water.
  • Position:  Check the meaning of names based on their relationship in the story for example are they the friend, lover, teacher, mother or leader (boss/manager).
  • Relatives:  If your characters are part of a family then it is more realistic that the parents chose similar style of names.  For example, a hippy parent might call their children “Rainbow” and “Sage” and it would be odd if one child was called “Elizabeth” which has a very different feel to it.  When naming siblings try to stick to names that sound like they would have been chosen by the same person.

Visit baby naming websites with tools to enable you to search for names, meanings and themes.  You can also use a search engine to see if anyone else has made a suitable list for example “Rock Star names”.

Here are some good sites:

If you are using software specially for writers, see if it has a name generator as part of the application.

If you like something physical to use, there are tons of baby naming books that you can buy and some that are for certain themes i.e. Celtic names.

Record your name research

Keep a list of your favourites and important information about them.  This will help you in future.  For example, if you are writing a story about Witches and researched 18th Century names then this list will come in handy for introducing future characters and save you precious time.

I like using Wunderlist for this.

Pronounceable

Make sure the name you have chosen is easy for the reader to pronounce (even in their head).  It is incredibly off putting if you’ve made up a name that slows down the pace of your story because your reader has to think about what it says.

Sometimes, Fantasy writers will create strange names to illustrate that their character is from another species.  This is fine but don’t make it illegible.

Things to avoid

If you are writing fiction make sure that your character is not named after someone.

  • Named after someone: Be careful if your characters name is the same as a living person and make sure it is clear that your fictional character isn’t based on them.  You can write a disclaimer to cover this and there are some great examples on The Book Designer.
  • Multiple nicknames:  If you use a nickname for your character, stick to one.  If your character goes by many names it can get very confusing and frustrating for your reader to keep up.

Temporary names

If you still don’t know what to call your character, choose something that is easy to replace i.e. something unique.  Then when you have made your mind up, use Find and Replace in your word processing software to change the name.

Learn from my mistake:  I once had this problem and called my character “Sam”. When I finished my 65,000 word manuscript and wanted to change the name it was horribly difficult.  You wouldn’t believe the number of words that have ‘sam’ appears within it.  This made it a very tedious task.  If I had picked something unique like Bartholomew then the correction could have been made in a few clicks.

Please note, this is a rewrite of my blog post originally posted here.  

If you enjoyed this, you may like:

Creating a Catchy Novel Title

Tips for Surviving NaNoWriMo

Seven tips for querying agents

How much development do you give you Secondary characters?

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Ally Aldridge Goals, Novel, Writing

Camp NaNoWriMo Diary (middle to end)

Here is the last half of my Camp NaNo diary, covering mid April to the end of April. It will also include whether I am a winner or not. If you would like to read the first half of my diary, click here.

Update 6

https://www.instagram.com/p/BweNpIXnfYB/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Update 7

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwjMfdHH1Pm/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Update 8

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwpzZONHlYd/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Update 9

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bwu5QSYHHGK/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Update 10

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw0E4dYHptZ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I am so pleased that I achieved Camp NaNo. During the Easter Holidays it felt so impossible I almost quit. I guess it goes to show what perseverance can achieve.

I like Red Dresses more than my November project and will likely return at a later date to finish this novel.

What’s next?

As soon as Camp NaNo was over, I got straight back into editing Jewel of the Sea. My goal is to try and edit three chapters a week to get it query ready.

You may have noticed that recently I have begun sharing updates on my blog with links to Wattpad as I finish editing. If you are on Wattpad, follow me, I follow back.

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Ally Aldridge Tips, Writing

Comma ‘gain!

I love writing dialogue but still feel muddled about how to present it to the reader.  I wrote this article over a year ago on my old blog but I still refer to it when I am editing to check I got it right.  I thought others may find it useful too so decided to share it again.  I hope you enjoy. 

*****

My mistake

I don’t want to even think about how many times I have edited my writing.  I am always looking to improve it and post my writing online to get feedback.  Nobody can be as brutal as I am about my own work, I never feel it is quite good enough.

"I am going to hate it."  I said miserably.  "This sucks!"  X

Recently, someone on Wattpad pointed out that I should have used a comma in the above dialogue.  I didn’t agree.  I felt it was a complete sentence so required a full stop. Plus, in all the years it has been posted online, nobody else had picked up on this.

If someone has taken the time to help me, I feel it important to firstly thank them and then consider the merit of their wisdom.  So, I got a second opinion from an ex-colleague English teacher and…

She agreed with the online feedback and provided a link to help further my understanding:  Oxford Dictionaries – Commas in direct speech

I am now dreading the edit of over 70k+ words looking for how many times I have made this mistake – this will be a painful task.

How to write dialogue

Firstly, normal sentence structure applies so place commas where required for clauses, statements, and lists.

New paragraphs

"Hello!"
"Who is there?"
"It's me,"  he said.

Every time the dialogue changes to a different speaker, you start a new line.  If you do this, it is incredibly easy for the reader to follow the conversation between the characters.

Also, if only two characters are present you can cut most the ‘he said’, ‘she said’ stuff which can get tedious and it will improve the pace of your story.

I can’t tell you how many times I have seen new writers putting dialogue between two different characters within the same paragraph and it is confusing.  Please don’t do that.

“Speech marks”

The most obvious rule is to use speech marks to show the text that the characters say.

"Hello readers!" she said.

You will notice that the first speech mark (opening dialogue) does not have a space after it and the second speech mark (closing dialogue) does not have a space before it.

"Hello."   

"Hello," she said.  

"Hello?"    

"Hello!" she yelled.

The dialogue should always end with punctuation (i.e. full stop, comma, question mark, exclamation mark) and this should be before the closing speech mark.

How a comma should be used for dialogue:

"Hello readers," she said.   

She said, "Hello readers."

In the first example, the dialogue ends with a comma and the full stop is after you identify who is saying it and how it is spoken.

The second example means exactly the same but in reverse.  The comma appears after you’ve identified who is saying it and how and the full stop is at the end of the dialogue.

In both examples, the comma appears in the middle of the dialogue and the full stop only appears at the end.

Dialogue using a question mark or exclamation mark:

"Who is there?" she asked.

"Who is there!" she yelled.

The first example, is a question.  This is illustrated by the dialogue ending with a question mark.  The question mark is contained within the speech marks.  Normally, you’d treat a question mark like a full stop and start the next sentence with a capital letter.  In dialogue, you only do this if the next word is a pronoun (i.e. a name).

The second example, is of something exclaimed.  Exclaim means to cry out i.e. in pain, in surprise, or with sudden strong emotion.  You will notice it follows the same rule as the question mark.

She asked, “Who is there?”

She yelled, “Who is there!”

You will see in the reverse dialogue examples (where the speaker and how it spoken is given first), there is a comma before giving the dialogue.

Formatting broken dialogue:

"Hello," she called into the darkness, "is anyone there?"
"Hello," she called into the darkness.  "Is anyone there?"
"Hello!" she called into the darkness. "Is anyone there?"

In the above example the dialogue is broken into two parts.  You will notice the same rules apply.

The first section of dialogue ends with a comma, question mark or exclamation mark.  Then after the closing speech mark you give details of who spoke and how it was said.

Who spoke and how it was said should end with a comma or full stop.

The second section of dialogue will only start with a capital letter if the information about who and how finished with a capital letter (or if the word is a pronoun).  The second section of dialogue must end with a full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.

Making it right

I am constantly learning and growing as a writer.  I’m not looking forward to the lengthy edit ahead of me but hopefully the experience will drum this lesson into my head once and for all.

"I am going to hate it,"  I said miserably.  "This sucks!" 

*****

Please share with me any issues you’ve had with writing dialogue and whether this article was useful.  Many thanks, Ally

*****

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Ally Aldridge Novel, Tips, Writing

How much development do you give you Secondary characters?

Day 18 of March’s Instagram photo challenge by  #womenwritingfiction #wwfchallenge2019 was “Tell us about your secondary characters.”
 
Personally, I spend quite a bit of time developing my secondary characters.  I like to know what makes them tick so I can ensure they remain true to who they are.  Often, I fall in love with a character so much that I want to write them their own story, like Kya – currently writing Diamond in the Sky about her.  
 
I decided to spotlight Denny.  One of the stories about this character is below.  I hope you enjoy this snipped into her background and I would love to hear about whether you enjoy developing your secondary characters as much as your primary characters.  
 
Image from Unsplash artist Kinga Cichewicz of how I picture grown up Denny https://ift.tt/2DByKkK

 

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Unpack (Denny)

Gwyn had been a mother and best friend all rolled into one neat package. I picked the sticky tape off another cardboard box. Packing up had been a difficult chore but unpacking was a never ending task.

Revealing the contents, I realised this would be no quick task. At the top was a powder blue photo album with white writing ‘My Baby’. I can’t resist the urge to look at pictures of my son. I clutched it to my chest in the same manner I had when he had been small enough to do so.

The first page was a photo of him only hours old. Gwyneth had been my only visitor at hospital and took the photo for me.

Gosh, I look so young. Too young to be a mum!

I pulled the rigid board of the front cover free from the slip to retrieve a picture I had hidden there. It had been taken in a photo booth, a sketch of us together in black and white. Dean believed pictures looked better like that. Now, it was disappointing as the picture didn’t show the kaleidoscope of golds his hair had shone that hot May.

The Easter fair had been in town, we were down for the holidays. Mum had given my brother Greg and I some money to go ‘treat ourselves’.

“What ride do you want to go on first?” Greg asked as we walked along the closed off road.

It was dark and the rides were lit up by brightly coloured bulbs and painted with images of seductive looking women with large breasts and glossy lips.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “They all look lame to me.”

Image from Unsplash artist Gabriel Matula of how I picture a teenage Denny: https://unsplash.com/@gmat07

 

There was the familiar crashing of bumper cars and the rotation of horses on the carousel. There were the more dangerous rides for older kids like Rock City where a row of chains rotated up and down getting faster and faster, Metropolis where everyone put their faith in centrifugal force as they stood in the cage of a spinning wheel tipping on its side as they stuck to the wall. There was Niagara Falls which consisted of two carpeted tubes that spun in different direction causing you to fall to the ground. Last time we were here it gave me carpet burn. All of them looked like they would either make me sick or cover me in bruises.

“I’m gonna get some candy floss.” My brother said irritated by my lack of adventure. He had been bored at the caravan and the fair was all that had kept him going.

I begrudgingly followed him whilst he flirted with two young girls in the queue. He allowed them to steal bites of the blue fluffy cloud of sugary sweetness. My brother was terrible with his cheesy lines ‘are all the girls around here as gorgeous as you?’

One of the girls, who had slicked her hair back into a ponytail eyed me with her dark lined eyes, “Your girlfriend?”

“Sister.” My brother quickly corrected her but his grin clearly read ‘I’m in there!’

The girl rubbed her arms to brush off the cold. “Wanna game of pool?”

Obviously my brother said yes. He had lost all interest in the rides now his sole attention was on this girl, who to me looked like a slapper. Sadly, that was probably what he liked about her.

Her friend was chewing gum and seemed to be eyeing everyone up for a fight. Even when she smiled at my brother her eyes were half closed and she almost looked as if she was snarling, so I was surprised when she said, “You want to play?”

I shook my head. “I’ll just watch.”

I felt a little like a gooseberry standing on the side lines watching my brother tickle this girl every time she tried to take a shot. She giggled and blushed, “Stop cheating!”

I saw a pinball machine and decided to give it a go. The popular theme tune to the Adams Family started up. I pulled back the lever and let it go. The spring raced forward, smacking into the round silver ball and spinning it onto the table. The ball bounced off some bells and was heading down towards the bottom. My hands leaned over the edge of the table ready to hit the buttons to cause the flickers to stop the ball from being lost.

“You’ll never beat my score.”

I jumped and hit the button too late. Angrily, I searched for the person responsible for my loss, only to be taken back by the most beautiful eyes and gorgeous smile I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. As if moving in slow motion, I blushed as I watched the ball bounce and roll down the middle bringing the game to a halt.

“Dean.” He said confidently.

All I could see was his cocky grin and cool blue eyes. He had long blond hair that swept across his face in rebellious waves. He looked like he had stepped off the set of some Californian beach surfer movie and I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

“You’ve still got another ball.” He said with a thick Suffolk accent that killed my Mr Muscle Beach fantasy.

My hands shook rapidly to the beat of my heart and it was more difficult to pull the bar back the second time. I let it go and tried again to keep the ball on the table but I was all flustered. I managed to hit it back into the game twice more before it disappeared for good.

“It’s your last ball. Do you want my help?”

My throat was tied up in knots, pretty much like my stomach and I couldn’t speak. I gave a nod. The next thing I knew, he was standing behind me. His hand clasped over mine and we drew back the lever together. “Never go all the way.” His hot breath tickled my neck like a forewarning my body wanted to rebel against. “Otherwise the ball will be too fast to keep up with. You need it to be just enough to put it on the board and get stuck behind those bells. Then you will get the maximum points.” He let go of my hand and I released it. I let it go and as my hands fumbled for the buttons, I felt his fingers guiding me into place, finally resting gently over the top of mine.

That was how my romance for ‘Hugo Boss’ had begun.  The scent surrounded me in the same way his arms were. It was intoxicating the way it gripped my senses and spun my world like the little silver ball. From that day forward, it became the smell that I associated with summer, replacing the uplifting fresh salty sea breeze and lashings of sun lotion. I no longer hungered for the tantalising sweetness of a ninety-nine vanilla ice-cream and chocolate flake; I just wanted to taste Dean. That was the start of the holiday romance that broke my heart and changed my life eternally.

Looking at the photo, I was surprised to discover how similar Dean looked to Jace. I shouldn’t have been surprised, after all Dean was his dad. The last time he had come to mind had been when I met Dave, my fiancé. The first thing that caught my attention was the heart capturing scent of Hugo.

Now Jace was wearing it thanks to Dave trying to bond with him “Wear this, the women love it.” I never told Dave why this woman loved it.

“Wings” by Birdy

   https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/WJTXDCh2YiA?rel=0&showinfo=0&enablejsapi=1

This song has beautiful imagary that I feel captures the intoxicating feeling of first love and the magic of the whirlwind, followed by the crushing destruction when all is not as it was and all you have left is sweet memories that are painful to carry.  I think it captures the emotions of the scene above well.

If you enjoyed this chapter, you may also like:

What theme is heavily portrayed in your story?

Do you keep notebooks of story ideas?

Does your story have an antagonist/bad guy?

I did #FebWritersChallenge

 

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Ally Aldridge Goals, Novel, Writing

Camp NaNoWriMo Diary (midpoint April 2019)

Here is my midpoint diary on my Camp NaNo project, how I prepared and how I am progressing told through my Instagram photos.

Project – Red Dresses

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Are you doing Camp NaNoWriMo? I am going to take a break from editing to do what I love most, writing. I've set my goal low at 15k because this week has reminded me how hard it is to find time when one of my kids are poorly and I don't want to put too much pressure on myself. I'm planning to join #hustlingwriterscommunity cabin with @midnightstarlight #fellowcreativeminds #writerslife #writersofInstagram #writerscommunity #writerschallenge #writersofig #instagramwriters #igwriter #writingcomnmunityofinstagram #writerslifeforme #WriteWriteWrite #WritersWrite #NovelWriting #hustlingwriterscabin #amwriting #workinprogress #writingproject #redheadwriter #GoalSetter #GoalDigger #writinggoals #nanowrimo #campnanowrimo #campnano #wordcount #wordcountgoal

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Preparation

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I have been busy prepping for Camp NaNoWriMo but still have a long way to go. I'm pleased with how my MC is coming together although still don't have a name for her. She is a Journalist student in her final year of Uni – feel free to suggest names. Tonight, I've started outlining. This is the first time I've used Save The Cat method to do this. In the video you will see question marks where I need to go back as I'm not finished. I got to Act 2, Beat 8. I estimate the full novel will be 70k to 100k. For Camp NaNo I'm only aiming to do the first 15k to 30k. I want to finish my outline before I start but those first beats are the most important for April. How is your Camp NaNo Prep going? #campnanowrimo #campnano #campnanowrimo2019 #campnanoprep #newadult #newadultfiction #newadultromance #paranormalromance #urbanfantasy #vampire #workinprogress #writingproject #savethecat #outlining #outliningyournovel #novelplanning #plotter #instagramwriters #writersofinstagram #writerschallenge #writerscommunity #writersgram #writingcomnmunityofinstagram #discoverunder3k #redheadwriter #hustlingwriterscommunity #fellowcreativeminds #urbanfantasyauthorcommunity

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Update 1

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Day 3 – Camp Nano Progress! Oh dear! I actually have not started yet. Anyone else in this position? My month started out super busy with my evenings stolen by other commitments. I'm doing a course and I promised someone feedback on their project. These aren't excuses and I'm not going to quit due to a poor start. Other campers will come across obstacles in the coming days and those that make it to the end are the ones that remember there is always tomorrow. But, any progress is better than no progress so tonight I shall write! @jodie_at_home are you word sprinting tonight on Twitter – can I join you? I need some motivation to get started. #campnano #campnanowrimo #campnanochallenge #campnanoapril #instawrimo #campnano2019 #campnanowrimoapril2019 #wrimo #wrimosofig #wrimosofinstagram #instawrimo2019 #instawrimoapril #HustlingWritersCabin #nanowrimo #namowrimo2019 #noprogress #nanoprogress #writerslife #writerschallenge #discoverunder3k #hustlingwriterscommunity #fellowcreativeminds #urbanfantasyauthorcommunity #writerswrite #wordsprint #writerssupportingwriters #paranormalromance #newadultfiction

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Update 2

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Last night, I made a start on my Camp Nano project and wrote 1,166 words! I'm pretty pleased with my first chapter. I feel I've manged to clearly set my MCs challenges, needs and a catalyst already. I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter where she's going to seek a job at Scarlet House to enable her to work undercover. My chapters at the moment are just scenes as that is how I draft. I've loved free writing and can't wait to add to my story tomorrow. #hustlingwriterscabin #discoverunder2k #hustlingwriterscommunity #fellowcreativeminds #urbanfantasyauthorcommunity #paranormalromance #urbanfantasy #fictionwriter #campnano #campnanoApril #campnanoapril2019 #nanowrimo #nanowrimoapril #nanowrimoapril2019 #writewritewrite #writerswrite #wordcountgoal #goaldigger #novelwriting #firstdraft #workinprogress #writerschallenge #writersofinstagram #igwriters

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Update 3

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Early this month I blogged about the importance of updating your ‘about me’ section on your website and other social media platforms. Online, I am quite social and on a number of sites so updating them all is going to take a while. An example is my NaNo profile which I created in a rush last year. It already needs updating as not only is it sparse but it only mentions my son as my daughter didn’t exist then. In addition, I’ve developed some new interests. It’s amazing how much can happen in a year. Tell me something new about you from the last 12 months? #campnanowrimo #campnanowrimo2019 #hustlingwriterscommunity #hustlingwriterscabin #nanoprofile #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #writerscommunity #writer #redheadwriter #fellowcreativeminds #wrimo #nanowrimo #nanowrimo2019 #aspiringauthor #nanoproject

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Update 4

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Who are your cabin mates? My cabin mates are are all part of the #hustlingwriterscommunity , a group of writers that have other responsibilities that make it challenging to find time to write. The struggle is easier when you have a supportive cabin cheering you on. It helps me get over the bad days quicker and focus on my achievements instead of giving up. We can relate to each other’s time problems. We have fallen a little behind target but we are still making steady progress and I’m confident we will achieve our goals together. We will certainly have done better than if we had never tried. I think these are the Instagram handles of my cabin mates (I’m not sure who the others are on IG): @midnightstarlightwrites @wordsaremagic88 @jenjeng89 @annamlancaster @colleen.is.writing @mommajedi2382 @aliceinthewillowtree #hustlingwriterscabin #discoverunder2k #fellowcreativeminds #urbanfantasyauthorcommunity #paranormalromance #urbanfantasy #fictionwriter #campnano #campnanoApril #campnanoapril2019 #nanowrimo #nanowrimoapril #nanowrimoapril2019 #writewritewrite #writerswrite #wordcountgoal #goaldigger #novelwriting #firstdraft #workinprogress #writerschallenge #writersofinstagram #igwriters #writingchallenge #amwriting

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Update 5

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I’m so pleased, tonight I’ve managed to get in a good hour of writing. I wrote 1,338 words taking my total to 6,197 words. Looking at the graph I would say I’m pretty much on track. I’m glad I did the outlining before starting as it is helping know what to work on next although tonight I think I jumped the timeline a little so when I edit I’ll need to add some build up in before tonight’s scene. Nevermind. You can edit a bad page but you can’t edit a blank page. Better written than not. How’s your writing going? #campnano #campnanowrimo #campnanochallenge #campnanoapril #instawrimo #campnano2019 #campnanowrimoapril2019 #wrimo #wrimosofig #wrimosofinstagram #instawrimo2019 #instawrimoapril #HustlingWritersCabin #nanowrimo #namowrimo2019 #noprogress #nanoprogress #writerslife #writerschallenge #discoverunder2k #hustlingwriterscommunity #fellowcreativeminds #urbanfantasyauthorcommunity #writerswrite #wordsprint #writerssupportingwriters #paranormalromance #newadultfiction

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I hope when I post in early May on how I got on that I will have good news and be able to share my success with you. Wish me luck!

Update: Click here to read my diary for middle to the end.

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